I’ve never really known “who” I am or what I want. When I was younger, I used to be quite reckless, and not care what anyone thought of me. Then those awful teenage years hit, and I took everything people said really seriously and tried my hardest to “fit in”.
At the age of around 13, I always wore black, Green Day were my favourite band, and I was interested in spiritual things like tarot reading, predictions, and reading about witchcraft and pirates. I had one or two friends who shared the same music taste as me, but the majority of people I knew at school were interested in sports. One summer, I ended up changing myself dramatically, started listening to Taylor Swift and wearing the girliest, most floral dresses I could find, because I was sick of being called an emo/goth or whatever else the boys in the year above used to say. Through the rest of my school years, including sixth form, I carried on trying to be normal and I never really socialised much.
Now I’m at university in London, a much more diverse environment, I’ve started to come out of my shell and be open about my real interests and I’ve stopped pretending to like things I don’t. It took a while, but I realised that my new group of friends really don’t care that I prefer listening to Elvis Presley than the UK top 40, and that I like Disney films a bit more than the average 19-year-old. Of course, there are a few people who seem to think that I must be posh because I went to a private school, or that they’re better than me because they study Science and I study Classics, but for the most part, I feel comfortable being weird.
My wardrobe has evolved from what’s “fashionable” into a selection of jeans and Star Wars t-shirts. Every day I used to worry about wearing the right thing, but now I casually throw on whatever I want and don’t worry about it. It feels great. I currently have green and purple hair, because I can. Perhaps my Grandfather doesn’t completely approve of my hair, but I’m a student! It’s the perfect time to experiment.
This blog used to be my space to share about my interests in beauty and fashion, but I feel like it needs to evolve as I do. I don’t want Emily Underworld to be defined in a particular category, because I really despise labels. I want my blog to be as random and weird as I am. Thank-you to everyone who has read my blog in the past, and I hope that you will choose to continue with me on this journey.